INTRODUCTION
While you may have many unanswered questions about the disease and its impact on the family system, it is important that you temporarily put aside these concerns and begin by focusing on the financial picture and how it impacts you. Now is the time for you to take action. This may mean that you will have to take steps begin doing unfamiliar tasks such as taking over bill paying or closing bank accounts, and considering actions such as returning to work or even taking legal action. You may be uncomfortable with some of the suggestions you are about to read, but damage control should be immediate and thorough. Your own history with financial matters and your attitudes and beliefs about money may be the source of this “discomfort.” Repairing the family’s finances will not likely be a quick fix.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT COMMUNITY PROPERTY
It is important to understand that Arizona is a community property state, which means that you are entitled to half the assets acquired during the marriage. On the other hand, this also means you are responsible for half of the debts. A prenuptial agreement may free a spouse from responsibility for certain debts. If there was a prenuptial agreement in place, you may be free from responsibility for certain debts, but you need to consult an attorney. In addition to understanding the concept of community property, it is also important to know that Arizona recognizes the rights of each spouse to “sole and separate property.” Sole and separate property is not part of the community and is not subject to division. Sole and separate property can be defined in three ways: as a gift or gifts to one spouse only, an inheritance left to one spouse only, or a bequest through a will to one spouse only. Property owned by a spouse before marriage is also considered to be “sole and separate.”
Also, it is important to understand that Arizona is a “quasi community property state.” In a “quasi community property” jurisdiction, assets acquired by a couple or an individual before the couple became residents of that state are now categorized as “community.” Therefore, assets a couple brings to Arizona from a common law (equitable distribution) state or the District of Columbia becomes community property and are subject to the fifty-fifty split.
FIRST THINGS FIRST
You may not be told the full extent of the debt created by the gambler’s addiction. Our own experience with gamblers has shown that there is a strong tendency among gamblers to under-report or minimize the amount and frequency of their activity as well as financial information. Under-reporting may be the result of the gambler’s feelings of guilt and shame. However, some gamblers may be genuinely unaware of the extent of the debt. The most important thing to do at first is to make a realistic assessment of the amount of debt.
INITIAL DAMAGE CONTROL: WHAT YOU CAN DO
Set an emergency budget to deal with family needs. List all sources of income and all known debts. If the debt is more than projected income, you may have to make hard decisions about which debts are priority. This temporary budget does not include payday loans, bookies, and gambling debts to individuals or organizations. The family finances have already been compromised. It is crucial that the immediate needs of the family unit are addressed. As part of the program requirement here at ABC Wellness Centre, you will have the opportunity to participate in an ABC Wellness Centre financial group to develop a more comprehensive plan. Please sign up for your class in the front office. Gamblers are also encouraged to participate in a GA pressure relief group. A pressure relief group is available to members who have ninety days of abstinence and have attended GA regularly. The spouse or significant other is strongly encouraged to participate in this process. Old habits are hard to break, so it is important that you be open to every opportunity to reinforce newly acquired financial information, knowledge, and behaviors.
WORKING TOGETHER
It is critical that the gambler have no access to money. This is important for several reasons. Money has become a drug for the gambler. Money “buys the mood” the gambler is seeking. When a gambler is in possession of money, rational thinking is nonexistent, and the gambler is cunning in his/her pursuit of funds to get into “action.” The amount of money needed to get into action varies with each gambler. An honest discussion must take place to determine the gambler’s threshold (minimum amount he/she must have to gamble). If the gambler is willing to work with you, his/her access to money should be limited to a small allowance. The gambler should agree to a set amount for gas and lunches. Past discretionary funds available to the gambler should be channeled toward reducing the community debt. Many gamblers may be resistant because they may feel that they are losing control and being treated as a child. Some males report feeling emasculated. Having limited access to money may be especially difficult for the gambler who is the sole wage earner. The gambler may have a sense of entitlement to his/her money. These issues are important to discuss with your therapist or with each other.
BAILOUT IMPLICATIONS
A common dilemma may be whether the family should tap into a 401(k), stocks or mutual funds to clear some of the debt. This brings up the issue of bailout. A bailout is an action or behavior that prevents a gambler from facing the consequences of his/her behavior. In essence, a bailout desensitizes the gambler to the impact of the behavior. A history of bailouts often reveals continuation of the behavior that has caused so much pain. Gamblers who have accessed a 401(k) or mutual funds often face a problem of a different kind later on when they have to pay IRS penalties for the early withdrawal. While it is tempting to utilize these funds, it is ultimately an impediment to the recovery process. . Deciding whether to withdraw a 401(k), mutual funds or stocks is an important decision that must be discussed with the gambler, family member, and therapist to minimize further negative consequences. If there are no other options available to the family, having the gambler agree to a repayment plan that will replace funds from the bailout source promotes accountability. Specific consequences for the gambler should be included for non-compliance.
CREDIT SCORES AND ENABLING
Spouses often indicate a concern about their own credit and become panicked about having their credit score reduced. This concern makes it easier for a spouse to agree to covering the gambler’s debt. The spouse’s enabling of the gambler removes him/her from the reality of the situation, and there is no impetus for the gambler to change. Covering the debt also feeds the spouse’s codependent need to protect the gambler from his/her actions. The spouse who covers the debt for the gambler is just as much in denial as the gambler. Fixing the credit score may be a temporary solution for the spouse, but the implications of ignoring or covering the gambler’s problem will be long lasting without an intervention. It is important that the spouse learn to set appropriate boundaries that will enhance recovery and not deter it.
BANKING CONCERNS
It is important that all banking be closely monitored. Close joint bank accounts. Get a new account for yourself only. Keep track of your debit card if you have one and change the pin number frequently. Make sure all banking materials are kept in a safe place. Limit the amount of money that can be withdrawn from an ATM in a 24-hour period. Review monthly bank/credit union statements carefully and call immediately when there are concerns. Savings accounts are also vulnerable. Regularly check savings account balances including those accounts set up for minor children. If you conduct online banking, change access codes and passwords frequently. Monitoring accounts online can be helpful as a time saver. Equity lines of credit are a convenient source of money for the gambler. Make arrangements with the lending agency to require both signatures for any withdrawal from the line of credit. Require both parties to sign in person to minimize the possibility of forgery and further misappropriation of funds.
OTHER SOURCES OF POTENTIAL CASH FOR GAMBLING
Gamblers sometimes turn to payday loans as a last resort. These are unsecured personal loans with interest rates ranging from 200 to 400 percent. The state of Arizona allows for one payday loan for the consumer. However, gamblers will perjure themselves because there is no way to track the number of loans an individual might have. Another source of potential gambling revenue is the auto title loan. Collateral for the auto title loan is the vehicle itself, and the loan company holds the vehicle’s title.
Repayment of these loans isn’t easy. Repayment of a payday loan is expected after two weeks. To repay a payday loan, the gambler is required to make full payment or allowed to renew the loan at a substantial interest increase. However, with an auto title loan the consumer is permitted to repay the loan in installments.
The first question to ask is whether or not there are active payday loans or auto title loans. Then it is important to see the loan paperwork so that you are aware of the loan’s terms.
Check contents of safety deposit boxes. Remove the spouse’s access to the safety deposit box. Choose a trustworthy alternative relative or friend to be allowed access to the box in case something happens to you. Items such as jewelry are often pawned. Household items such as electronics, collectibles, or cameras may also be a source of quick cash. If you suspect something is missing, you may want to inventory your home. Check for pawn tickets or ask your gambler.
Check the status of insurance policies. It is possible to borrow against some policies. Call insurance companies to find a way to protect your policies from your gambler.
MONITORING
After the initial crisis has been addressed, it is important to remain vigilant, even when the gambler appears to be doing “better.” Obtain a copy of your credit report and monitor your credit status every three months. There are companies that offer monitoring services for a reasonable fee. Each of the main credit reporting companies—Equifax, Experian and TransUnion— allows consumers to order a free report every twelve months. You can complete the Annual Credit Report Request Form and mail to: Annual Credit Report Request Service, P.O. Box 105281, Atlanta, GA. 30348-5281. The form can be located at ftc.gov/credit, run by the Federal Trade Commission, or at annualcreditreport.com. You will have to supply some sensitive information, such as your Social Security number, to receive free credit reports. Be aware that a gambler may have had certain bills sent to a post office box or to the workplace. Those venues should be closed. Have the gambler redirect all bills and correspondence to the home address.
If gambling has been done in cyberspace, there is software that blocks online access to gambling sites. Gamblock (www.gamblock.com) is well established as the leading software in this area. Another service that blocks gambling sites is GamStop, available free at wwww.GamStop.org. Gam Stop is part of an excellent service offered by GamAid, the online problem gambling advisory service www.GamAid.com. If the gambler isn’t willing to take this action, then self-banning is another option to curtail the behavior. Following through with self-banning in cyberspace may be an issue for the gambler. Unfortunately, the ban on many these sites is limited to seven days only. This means that the gambler is regularly exposed to the source of his/her addiction when the ban has to be renewed. A family member may have to assume responsibility of this online task. However, this does not equate to enabling! Why not? If your gambler is unwilling to self-ban or have the block installed, be prepared to monitor computer use daily.
Many of these actions may seem extreme. You may have doubts about taking these measures, but be assured your actions are supportive of the recovery process for you, your family, and the gambler. Patience, perseverance, honesty and open communication are essential for repairing the family finances.
©2006 Kathryn Elliott-Hudson, M.Ed., NCC, LISAC, NCGC-II. All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without the permission of the author.
